THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF JAGGER, SON OF BUZZY

Reyah's Natal Day in the Year 3966 A.K. (After Kalin):

Reyah's birthday today. Must remember to get very nice pressie. Am thinking Paelinor's 5th Fleet. Old bint fond of sailors.

In other news, Deryk cast big spell. As usual, silly prat got it all wrong and shook Keep to hell and gone. Someday will permanently put poncy bastard's head up his arse. Unfortunately, doubt he'd notice.

Good news and bad news from Deryk's spell.

Good news: 9 women landed in Keep. Very good-looking bits of fluff.

Bad news: Think Reyah hearing wedding bells between one of the bits of fluff and moi. As if.

P. S. - Still not a bug. Yay!

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF ZAKHAR, SON OF REYAH

Reyah's Natal Day in the year 3966 A.K (After Kickingkalinsarse):

Went to Keep to get decent drink. Forgot was Mom's birthday. Decided to make up new lyrics to Her fav. song. Difficult finding word to rhyme with 'bint'.

In other news, silly wanker Deryk cast big spell. As usual managed to fook up everything and shake hell outta of the Keep and who knows where. Wanker spilled my ale, damn him. Next spell Deryk fook up, plan to shove kelan tree up his arse.

P.S. - Interesting side-effect of Deryk's spell. 9 women landed in Keep. Cute crumpets. Is obvious Mom planning on leg-shackling Vanyr in big way. Not me. Am leaving to hang out with pigs for couple of centuries.

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF VALLENIUS, SON OF VALERIUS

Reyah's Natal Day in the year 3966 A.K.W. (After Kalin Wars):

Have decided to keep diary. After spell theft need to encourage self to do better. Go me!

In other news, scary bastard Deryk cast big spell. As usual messed it up. Even I could've got that one right. I think. Note to self: look up un-resurrection spells, Alfred sure to ask . . .

P. S. - Deryk spell good for something: 9 women appeared in Alfred's office after big quake. Thank Goddess for loose robes. Got woody that wouldn't quit. Too bad tho' - obvious Reyah brought them for Vanyr. Lucky bastards.

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF LORD ALFRED DU MARC, SON OF RITEON DU MARC

Reyah's Natal Day in the year 3966 A.K.W. (After Kalin Wars):

Big birthday bash for Reyah. As usual, Jagger one-upped with best pressie. Had to order more cake, goddess-damned sailors ate all of first. Hate Jagger. REALLY hate sailors.

In other news, stupid Vanyr bastard Deryk cast big spell. As usual mucked it all up. Hate Deryk. REALLY hate Deryk. Someday plan to feed nancyboy to moat monster.

Note to self: get Vallenius to cast heartburn spell for monster in advance.

P. S. - Strange stuff: 9 women appeared in my office. Reyah claims are daughters. That goddess really gets around. Daughters cute babes - especially hot one in purple with bodacious tatas. Obvious Reyah plans hitching daughters to sons. Isn't that incest? Head hurts. Need drink. Need lots of drinks.

Note to self: get hangover spell from Vallenius soonest.

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF WILLEM LEOPOLD, SON OF LEO POLD

Reyah's Natal Day in the year 3966 A.K.W. (After Kalin Wars):

Fun party for Reyah's birthday. Bonked cheeky wench with weird-colored eyes under high table. No one noticed. Dammit. However, good news is wench agreed moi have biggest equip. at party. Yay me!

In other news, Deryk screwed up big spell. Stupid prat shook up Keep. Foresee big clean-up. Guess who gets lion's share of work? Someday plan to tie Deryk to pell and let knights take turns shoving their lances up his arse.

P. S. - Yay! Deryk good for something. Spell brought 9 yummy babes to Keep. One for each day of week. Saw them checking out moi's granite butt - and other rock hard bits - they want me. Bad. Of course. Moi sexiest dude in Domain.

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF PANDORA KEATON, DAUGHTER OF REYAH (SORT OF)

Labor Day Weekend:

Having blast at con till Freaky Freya shoved moi into Lydia Jambon. Scary! Esp. since moi's drink (and all of perfume stall) spilled over LJ. Ran for life and hid in neato booth when the Hambone went postal.

In other news, found a Wishstone and translated self and 8 others to real Domain. Yay me! Unfortunately, am now blonde bimbo. Woe is me! Tried to get Mom (Reyah ha ha) to change back to norm self, but no go. Dammit.

P.S. - found out Deryk cast spell during translation. Scary asshat screwed it up as usual. Same as show, yay! Asshat supposedly brought Demon Witch back from dead. Coolness! Wonder if she gives autographs?

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF THE LADY CIRCE, MOST BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL AND YOUTHFUL (25 TOPS) SORCERESS IN ALL OF DOMAIN, GLORIOUS DAUGHTER OF REYAH (NEW BORN)

Labor Day Weekend:

Con big disappointment - Eric Bernard total fucktard. Dammit. Fellow sisters in Reyah more or less presentable. Only one better looking than moi. Okay. Maybe two. Oh hell, three tops but moi's clothes way better. Yay divorce settlements and lots of moola to buy lovely things with!

In other news, silly twit Pandora convinced fan group to make wish on real Wishstone. Translation to young and beautiful gave moi killer headache but eye candy at scene made all better. Mostly. Think Reyah trying to keep Al all for self - will have to ponder ways to snitch Lord of Keep from under Her nose.

P.S. - Deryk 'nother total fucktard - rotten jerk cast big spell that brought back Demon Witch. Bet Al and most of Chosen want to shove lances up his scary arse. Note to self: gather gals to kick Demon Witch's bimbo arse right after moi assesses new wardrobe. Fashion always first.

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF THEA GARDNER, DAUGHTER OF JIM AND NELL GARDNER, RELUCTANT SHAPE-SHIFTER AND MAGE

Labor Day Weekend:

Have met rest of fan girl group. Mostly nice despite a few nutcases. Still doing shared brain schtick with Liz - freaking out rest of group. Love it.

In other news, Pandora and Free assaulted a guest star. Lydia Jambon, naturally, went on rampage. Two walking disasters hid in booth of freaky old lady calling herself Reyah. Reyah assured everyone she'd fix things. Yeah right. Next thing moi knows, Pandora found real Wishstone and translated 9 of us to Domain. As our online avatars. Complete with magical powers and good looks. Oy vey. Am now magically powerful, totally sexy - and can turn into a cat. Yay me. I think.

P.S. - Seems Deryk resurrected Demon Witch same time as Wishstone brought us to Domain. Everyone from Lord of Keep to kitchen staff wants to shove large things up Deryk's arse. Most too damned scared to do it, though. Am told we get to BKC on Demon Witch. Yay us - NOT.

Note to self: Ask Liz if moi's tush looks big in cat form. Not really sure got tail 100% right . . .

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF REYAH, SUPREME GODDESS OF THE REALM DOMAIN, DIVINE LIGHT OF THE WORLD (GO TO: WWW.REYAH4U.COM AND CHECK OUT MY INTERNET DEALS!)

Moi's Birthday, 29K and holding:

Teensy bit disappointed in birthday celebration. Only one fleet? Jagger should know me better than that. Still, sailors nice change from usual cavalry unit or platoon of palace guards. Had lovely time rocking their boats. Yay me!

In other news, darling son Deryk quite a naughty boy casting forbidden spell. Now will have to save scamp's cute arse as rest of Vanyr want to stick large, pointy things up same. Most distressing as am busy working on Earth franchise. Think distraction of some sort needed.

Note to self: Store Wishstone someplace safe. Like Alpha Centauri. Total dingbat somehow got hands on Wishstone and now am saddled with 9 natural disasters. Dammit. On the plus side, sons have definitely been distracted. On minus side, distraction nearly wrecked Keep and wiped out half of Tambara.

P.S. - Good news and bad news on Deryk fooking up forbidden spell. Good news: eldest out of hiding and sniffing 'round 9 disasters. Bad news: Deryk didn't resurrect the Demon Witch. He translated someone even worse. Dammit. I think I'm having one of those millennia . . .

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